Crying in Zambia (Scott's)

I went to a funeral again the other day.  Like the last one that I went to and wrote about, I didn't know the person who died.  But I worked with the family and the older woman who passed away was well-respected, so I felt moved to share in what was a community event.  The thing I noticed the most about the funeral this time was the crying.  After being in the village for nearly two years at the time of the funeral, it has become clear that crying by adults is strictly saved for funerals.  Crying after a hard day at work, when a good friend or family member moves to another place, or when a doctor is setting a broken bone is not expected and if you did you probably would be considered weird or weak.  You can frequently find a crying child or adolescent because they did not get something that they wanted, but there seems to be an unwritten rule that adult men and women cry for one reason only- the death of a relative or friend.  The crying I have experienced in America and by adult Americans is usually highly emotionally charged.  When an American cries it is usually after some amount of self-restraint, so that when it comes out it comes out big, for some people like a flood.  And because of that it is usually a sincere, heart-felt cry.  The crying I've seen in Zambia seems fake.  There are tears and grief stricken faces, but it has the sound of a child that is crying because it can, not because it has to.  After being around several funerals I think I've come to see why.  The funeral event can last three days.  The first day is an announcement of the death, the second is the burial, and the third is a sort of remembrance day, which seems optional for guests.  And the effected family, particularly the wife, daughter, mother, niece, or sister, is expected to cry.  A lot.  Say, hourly.  Who COULD keep up a soulful cry for three days?  So the cries come out steady, punctuated by outbursts, but consistent.  It is as if the crying is both mourning for the individual but also an announcement to all passersby that this is an important day, a day to remember this person who is no longer with us.  Also it is a way to mourn completely.  You don't hear about a wife feeling dreary and sad a week later.  The mourning is done at the funeral and there is no dwelling on it afterwards.  I think some reasons for this include 1. there is work to be done.  Can't very well prepare, plant, or harvest fields while you are balling your brains out.  2. funerals are so frequent that the effected family may have another funeral to host or attend pretty soon.  Can't very well respect the funeral of one person the way they do in Zambia if you are already respecting the funeral of another. 
I was compelled to write about this because of the way that I see people cry.  If I was in America and saw a person crying like I see a typical Zambian crying I would be unmoved.  I would think they were trying to manipulate me, and I bet many of you would to if you could see the theatrics involved in the crying process.  But I am sure that the people I have seen crying have legitimate emotional pain regarding the death of their loved-one.  And they need to express it.  It's just another way Zambians are different from Americans, not for better or for worse, but for perhaps for a broader purpose in a society that values family and community more than the individual.